


white.

by ariphyll



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Flower Symbolism, Fluff, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, for dimilix exchange on twitter!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21870541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariphyll/pseuds/ariphyll
Summary: There was no mark to match with Felix's own in his eyes.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71
Collections: 2019 Dimilix Holiday Exchange





	white.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Dimilix holidays Dia! I sort of smashed together your flower crown prompt and soulmate prompt into one fun idea. Hope you enjoy <3

_ "Felix! Felix look!" _

_ Felix glances up from his attempts to twist the two flower stems together to see Dimitri thrusting his small hands in his face, holding his own mangled crown. A few buds were crushed and the stems were more knotted than twisted but… _

_ Felix beams back at Dimitri. "You managed to do it!" _

_ Dimitri nods, pride etched across his face. "I did! It's, uhm, a little bent in some places but…" _

_ "I think it looks good!" Felix shakes his head and gestures to his own half-formed flower crown. "I don't get how Sylvain does that stupid braiding technique…" _

_ Dimitri hums quietly to himself, drumming his fingers against the knotted stems. It isn't a noise of contemplation though - at least, not over Felix's grumblings. Felix looks back over at him, waiting for the topic change Dimitri is inevitably stewing over. _

_ Eventually his patience, so thin as a child, runs out. "What is it?" _

_ Dimitri jumps - acting almost startled at the question. "Oh! Uhm, well…" Dimitri pauses before tugging up his left sleeve, exposing the small flower etched into the skin of his wrist. _

_ Felix always struggled with the name of it. Chris-and-the-uhm. The curve and flow of the petals match the same marking Felix carries on his own right wrist. _

_ "Do you think the color is going to come in soon…?" Dimitri asks. _

_ Felix shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe. I hope it's something cool - like blue or something." _

_ Dimitri frowns at that. "I think meaning matters more than how cool it looks." _

_ "I guess…" Felix mumbles, pushing up his own sleeve to stare down at his flower. The black lines stick out against his skin but - in the next few years a color would rise up to the surface. _

_ His dad always went on and on about how 'symbolic' and 'meaningful' it'll be. How it'll 'shape their whole relationship' and a bunch of other fancy words.  _

_ Felix didn't need some stupid mark to tell him that he was gonna spend his life with Dimitri.  _

_ “I think,” Dimitri starts, looking down at the flower crown in his hands. He moves to slip it on top of Felix’s head. “I want it to be white. Like these.” _

_ Felix raises his eyebrows at that, hesitating before frantically returning to his own wildflowers. He ties the ends together in a pathetic display - creating more of a half-circlet than a crown - before roughly setting it on top of Dimitri’s head. They’re both ugly if an outsider was to look at them, but Felix simply flashes a bright smile at Dimitri. _

_ “White can be pretty cool too!” _

_ Dimitri stares at him for a moment before bursting into a fit of giggles. _

_ White it is, then. _

\---

Felix makes sure that by the time he gets to the academy, his flower marking is well hidden. He’s already going to be sick of the amount of people who know that his mark matches with Dimitri’s - the last thing he needs is gossip about all the other details too. Sylvain and Ingrid at least don’t bring it up, and Felix is certain Dimitri isn’t even aware of the sickly yellow the chrysanthemum has turned in recent years.

He’d prefer to keep it that way as well.

\---

Felix idly polishes his sword in his room, hidden away from the prying eyes of his visiting father. As much as he would love to be out training instead, he can at least make sure his weapons are clean and organized. He flips the blade over in his hands, the delicate but firm handiwork of the sword showing off the skills of its original owner.

_ “I don’t suppose you’d allow me the chance to hold it?” _

Felix grits his teeth. As if he would let some rabid animal taint a sword as fine as one crafted by Zoltan. Careful or not, Felix might as well smear bloodstains across the hilt himself if he let Dimitri wield it. 

He paid good gold for this sword, and Felix has all the intention in the world to keep it safe and sound. Not snapped in two.

A slight smile ghosts his lips before quickly fading away. They  _ both  _ had cried over the incident that day - not that Felix would ever admit it now. Panicked over ruining a simple training sword; rushing around trying to fix it before someone saw them. It was Glenn who caught them, and it was Glenn who passed the story around.

Felix sheathes the sword back in its hilt. Perhaps he will risk seeing his father to make it down to the training grounds.

\---

Felix pretends he isn’t as affected by Dimitri’s outburst as much as everyone else. Seeing his face contorted in rage, crushing men’s bones in a desperate rush towards Edelgard underground - it was nothing Felix didn’t remember from the rebellion. Beasts spill blood; nothing new and nothing learned.

Yet…

Felix trains as he normally does. While other students whisper about Dimitri’s dark looks and low mutterings, Felix continues through his days as if it was still the beginning of the year.  _ Beasts spill blood _ \- what did it matter if now everyone else saw the creature prowling around them as well? Felix was the first to see it and now… He should feel vindicated.

The night before the siege of the academy, Felix finds himself heading towards the training grounds despite the ache in his body. He can hear the sound of splintering wood before he even opens up the doors. 

Dimitri is inside. Felix knew he would be.

Dimitri pays him no mind however as Felix enters the training grounds, instead focusing completely on massacring the dummy before him. Despite the fatigue Felix spies in his movements, all of Dimitri’s blows hit hard and true.

“At this rate, the academy won’t have any training dummies left.” Felix’s voice is hard and flat.

Dimitri lands another strike, and just as Felix thinks he’s going to ignore him entirely, he turns to look at him. “Why are you here?”

Felix folds his arms. “I don’t recall you becoming my keeper, boar. Shouldn’t you be curled up in your den somewhere?”

“No. The night is still young.” Dimitri takes a deep breath as he looks back at the dummy. “Tomorrow… I will finally be able to get my hands on Edelgard.”

“It would come faster if you didn’t spend your time lurking out here,” Felix grumbles. 

“I have to keep training. I need to be in perfect form if I’m going to accomplish what they require me to do.”

_ They _ . The word isn’t lost on Felix, but he has no patience for it. “Fine, stay out here all night and pass out before the battle begins. I’m sure that will be a good use of your time.”

Why did he even bother trekking down here? Felix shakes his head, turning to leave but Dimitri’s voice stops him.

“I can’t sleep.” Felix knew this. He was used to hearing Dimitri pace late at night in the next room over. “At least out here… it’s quiet.”

Felix grits his teeth and continues his way to the door. “Then enjoy your  _ solitude _ , boar.”

Felix heads back to his room - barely taking off the essentials before curling up - and forces himself to go to sleep. He refuses to let himself feel exhausted before the inevitable battle. The burn of his mark growing more and more sickly yellow in its petals, dark and ugly - he pretends he doesn’t feel it. 

There was no mark to match his anymore as far as he was concerned.

\---

_ The color is just about to start rising when they reach the rebellion. Felix can see the pink hues beneath the surface, brushing against the black lines of the flower, and he stubbornly keeps it hidden from everyone around them. It should be an exciting prospect but Felix can't be bothered with it right now.  _

_ He glances over at Dimitri from where they were riding, side by side. He's quiet now that no one is talking to him and Felix still fumbles with trying to find words with him. Dimitri is… better than when Felix first saw him after -- Duscur. Not quite the same but at least he chuckles from time to time and can hold a conversation. _

_ His flower mark stays perfectly uncolored. _

_ It's during the battle that Felix can feel his own wrist burn. Color searing into his skin and demanding the focus he doesn’t have to give. His focus, instead, is locked onto Dimitri - spear in hand and manic look in his eyes. _

_ His form and strength were nothing like the measured paces Felix would watch him go through in training. _

_ They were curt, cold,  _ **_vicious_ ** _ …  _

_ This was a beast enjoying the slaughter of the lambs. _

_ This was not the boy who eagerly listened to chivalrous tales with Felix, striving to never fight unless forced. _

_ By the time Dimitri's eyes meet Felix's, there's gore-splattered across his face. There are a good few yards between them, and the second Dimitri moves to close the gap Felix runs. _

_ He doesn't run away from the battle. No, he wasn't a coward. He runs from Dimitri, runs from the twisted wolf wearing his skin, and throws himself into the fray instead. If he's busy he doesn't have to process it. If he's fighting he can ignore the gleam of Dimitri's teeth in his smile. _

_ It isn't until after everything has gone quiet that Felix stomachs it. He watches Dimitri chat with the knight he’s supposed to be squiring for. Calm and peaceful. Perfect placid prince. _

_ It's revolting to look at. _

_ Come the next morning, a dark yellow has overtaken the soft pink of his flower. _

\---

Felix wonders, in the brief moments before he could catch himself, in the aftermath of Dimitri's execution - if his mark ever got colored in.

\---

Felix doesn't let the dead haunt him. He refuses to allow fake ghosts to pull on his every move. 

He still perks up when someone talks about vicious animal attacks - almost human in nature. He accepts or simply forms any missions that send him to that area. He tracks the 'wildlife' in-between duties.

He never catches sight of the beast terrorizing half of Faerghus.

It's probably just a boar anyway.

\---

It's sickening to watch. From his post in the cathedral, Felix watches Dimitri pace back and forth around the rubble of the church. Any princely demeanor is gone - replaced by snarling teeth and rabid eyes.

It's the beast Felix saw whenever he looked at Dimitri. 

It's more disgusting in real life than he could have imagined.

He talks with Byleth, then Sylvain, then Ingrid, then anyone else who would put up with him.  _ Something  _ had to be done about Dimitri, they couldn't seriously let him carry on like this. Following his manic orders with some blind faith… it was infuriating.

Dimitri is  _ dead _ . The only thing wearing his corpse now was a monster hell-bent on one thing alone. Edelgard. Revenge. Ghosts. One after another spinning around in his mouth. There was no  _ king _ left to guide them.

…

… 

Until there is again.

And Felix is down another family member.

\---

He doesn't cry. He only cried over Glenn for a week, and he does even less for his father. He does loiter in his room more often, tucking himself away from everyone else. He doesn't cry though. Where would he find the time for it?

It's during one of his brief runs to get some food that he crosses paths with Dimitri. His hair is still unkempt and there are bags under his eyes but… There's clarity in his vision.

"Felix." His voice is rough but soft.

"What do you want?" Felix wishes there was more bite to his own voice.

A pause.

"I'm sorry."

With that Dimitri walks past him, carrying on to whatever predetermined destination he had. Felix stares dead ahead before taking a deep breath and continuing to walk as well.

_ I'm sorry. _

It didn't fix anything. It didn't  _ change _ anything. What was the point of getting in his way to offer meaningless condolences?

...And yet...

\---

"You understand that, don't you… Dimitri?"

\---

When they regain control of the capital - it's a cause for celebration. One Felix can't truly deny participating in but one he certainly can slip away from. The noise is starting to get to be a bit too much, and the quiet of the balcony overlooking Fhirdiad is much more preferable. 

He isn't alone out here for long.

He hears Dimitri enter and reflexively looks back at him. He pauses in the entryway - mental debate playing clear across his face for Felix to see - before closing the door and approaching him. 

"Enjoying the festivities?" he asks.

Felix scoffs. "Everyone sure is getting ahead of themselves. Not that I can blame them…"

Dimitri huffs a quiet laugh. "You never were one for parties." He folds his arms across the railing. "I'm sure by now you could sneak away to bed."

"I'm sure I could."

The lapse into silence but it isn't… as awkward as Felix is used to. It's comfortable. Relaxed.

Everyone is just relaxed tonight. Or, from the sound of the commoner parties below, drunk and having a ball.

"This is one step forward," Felix says. "The people sure are rejoicing over it."

Dimitri pauses before responding. "They are. It's still… a shock to me. That they would welcome me so warmly…"

Felix glances over at him, frown on his lips. "What, their long lost king returning to free them from Cornelia's ugly clutches?"

"The fact they even still see me as king," Dimitri mumbles. He takes a deep breath, closing his good eye. "I feel unworthy of it. Of their praise. Their forgiveness."

Always so self-deprecating. Self- _ pitying _ . It was aggravating to watch.

"Then work to feel worthy of it," Felix snaps. His voice isn't as hard as it could be. "Stop lamenting your words and continue on with this damned war."  _ Move forward. _

Dimitri gives him a surprised look - before a slight smile reaches his lips. "Yes. We must continue to finish the war. Together."

The back of Felix's neck tingles at that, and he idly rubs at the chrysanthemum on his wrist. The yellow seems paler nowadays.

He glances down at Dimitri's own covered wrist despite himself.  Perhaps he could blame this on the wine he didn't drink tonight.

"What color?" Felix asks. "What color filled in for you?"

Dimitri's eyebrows raise at that before all the gentle mirth leaves his face. "...It never did, to be truthful. It's still - clear."

Felix simply nods in return.

He supposes it might be better this way. He isn't sure what color he would even want from Dimitri anyways.

Felix looks back over at him, staring out at the lights of Fhirdiad. The white of his cloak shines in the moonlight - fancy and regal and a step up from the old furs they found him in.

Hm. White, huh?

\---

_ Which is it? _

Felix still watches Dimitri tear through battlefields and soldiers like they're paper.

_ Which is it? _

He catches Dimitri having tea with Byleth, a light smile on his face.

_ Which is it? _

Areadhbar glints in the sunlight of Enbarr from the blood splattered across it.

_ Which is it? _

Dimitri is more poised during war councils - calm and ready to help with any reparations and tasks.

_ Which is it? _

"They are both the real me."

_ Which is it? _

_ Which side? _

_ Is it both? _

_ Can it be both? _

The day before they storm Enbarr, Felix realizes his flower has gone clear again.

\---

_ Felix never did understand what is such a big deal about how he’s 'destined' to be with Dimitri. Body, heart, soul -- their matching marks meant they will always be connected.  _

_ The marks are cool - but he didn't need a flower to tell him what he already knows. _

_ Dimitri shifts in his spot next to him, biting his lip as he stares down at his wrist. His marking is all scratched up from him slipping out of a tree earlier in childish frivolity - and Felix could barely get him to focus away from it. Really it was a miracle Dimitri didn’t break something like his  _ **_arm_ ** _. What are a few scuffs around his marking to complain over? _

_ "It'll be fine," Felix huffs. “Come ooon, Ingrid is gonna eat our dinners without us at this rate.” _

_ Dimitri shakes his head. “You can go on ahead. I don’t want to risk damaging it any further.” _

_ “You didn’t even damage it in the first place!” Felix protests. He gives a sigh, filled with all the agony a child can muster. “Even if it does get all messed up, who cares?” _

_ “Felix!” Dimitri looks practically scandalized at that. “It’s important! What if the scratch is too deep or- or something.” It’s a lame finish but Felix can see the worry in his eyes. _

_ Shaking his head, Felix leans over to grip onto Dimitri’s arm. He makes sure to cover up the flower etched into the skin and all the scrapes around it. “I don’t care. Even if we didn’t have matching marks - I’m- I would still be with you!” _

_ Felix puffs out his chest, all bravado a simple parody of characters he listened to from Glenn’s stories. Surely he must look gallant and charming after such a declaration - and not at all like a fussy ten-year-old. _

_ Dimitri certainly must think so, as he stares at Felix with wide eyes before smiling. “Okay. If you promise… then I’ll always be by your side too. Together.” _

_ Felix nods. “Now can we go eat already?” _

_ There were bigger issues at hand, after all. _

\---

It takes about two months after the end of the war for Felix to have any real time to visit Fhirdiad. The initial celebration was fun, sure, but come the morning he was one of many hurrying off to their separate territories. His uncle wasn’t an idiot, but Felix had still been anxious to get home. 

Yet, as the weeks pass by Felix finds himself more and more preoccupied with the letters sent to him. Sylvain, checking in from his own estate. Ingrid, kicking out more and more suitors while she helps her family restructure. Dimitri…

Dimitri talks about a lot of things. The rebuilding effort in Fhirdiad; the delicate supply of funds the crown had to use; a constant, unending stream of asking for advice.

So, Felix plans a trip to the capital. He doesn’t intend on staying there longer than a week at most. If he does… well, his uncle was always ready to resume watch on Fraldarius territory while he’s away.

\---

“Mercedes sent a letter recently,” Dimitri remarks. His horse is at a slow trot, carrying him alongside Felix’s as they walk through the hunting paths. “She says that she’s going to visit soon - to help work with the local healers.”

Felix hums in acknowledgment. “I’m sure she’ll demand we squeeze in at least some time to say hello.” Even though they were already busy enough. Never enough time in their days.

“Yes, I’m sure she will. It’ll be nice to see her again, though.”

Dimitri drops the conversation off at that, letting the silence rest quiet and simple between them. This was how their treks usually went - idle chatter until the sun set too low and they need to head back. It at least gives Felix plenty of time to mentally map out the coming weeks.

Being appointed to the King’s Advisor had not been his initial plan.

“Oh.” Dimitri draws his horse to a stop, slipping off her back and kneeling down next to some trees. 

Felix cranes his head but he can’t quite see what has captured Dimitri’s interest - so he reluctantly hops off his own horse as well. “What is it now? Don’t tell me we have another issue with wolves getting too close to the capital again.”

“Oh, no, it isn’t that.” Dimitri stands back up and Felix can see he has a few white wildflowers clutched in his hand. “I haven’t seen these bloom here in a long time.”

“Hmph, I guess. It’s not like the lands have been all that fertile considering the last few years.” Felix bends down and snatches one up for himself. He’s pretty sure he remembers these growing around the capital when he was young.

“I’m glad they can flourish again.” Dimitri’s voice is soft and warm. “They look lovely as always.”

Felix scoffs. “They’re  _ wildflowers _ .”

“Yes, but they’re white and delicate. I think they could stand to be appreciated a little more.”

White…

Felix pauses as he tugs up the sleeve of his coat, looking down at the well developed chrysanthemum. Its petals were a stark white now, contrasting against the black lines and clear as day. 

He thinks, once upon a time, his brother said white had something to do with  _ loyalty _ .

“I guess they’re nice enough,” he says.

Felix looks up after Dimitri doesn’t respond, catching his eye staring at him. Dimitri fidgets for a moment before tugging up his own sleeve as well. The white color is even brighter on his skin.

“I’m… still impressed my color came in, after all these years…”

Felix stares down at Dimitri’s mark alongside him. Impressive was one word for it.

Dimitri looks over at him, dropping his wrist as he faces him. “I’m… glad it did.”

Felix can feel himself tense - immediately preparing to scurry off from anything too heartfelt for a casual evening. Not right now. He’s growing used to the dual sides, of working with seeing Dimitri as he is. Yet…

Just not right now.

“It looks better with some color,” Felix comments.

Sometime soon though, perhaps.

Felix sighs before moving back to his horse. If he lets Dimitri beam any longer at him he’s going to get nauseous. “Come on, we should get back to the castle. We don’t have time to stand around looking at flowers.”

“Right,” Dimitri says, climbing back onto his mare. “You never were really that much of a fan of them, after all.”

Felix scoffs. “... They’re alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> _Pink Chrysanthemum - admiration; budding love  
>  Yellow Chrysanthemum - slighted love; sorrow  
> White Chrysanthemum - loyalty; earnest love_
> 
> Follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ariphyll) for more 3h on your feed! And occasional writing. Sometimes.


End file.
